Three's a Crowd
by bbybear85
Summary: Hilde was promised a threesome, but who did she pick?


**Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing.**

Duo ordered another two shots for himself and Trowa, enjoying the sounds, the smell and, especially, the view from the strip club bar. Behind him, Heero was sipping at a simple coke, ever faithful to his position of Designated Driver. The three maintained visual with the target.

Relena and Hilde were side by side, getting lap dances. By the look of things, they'd had enough to drink to welcome the closeness of another woman's naked chest, in spite of the interruption from their gossip. The conversation even looked entertaining, though Duo was definitely more interested in the visual.

As the dance ended, Heero signaled to Duo that he needed to make a phone call. He affirmed the non-verbal signal and turned back to his fiancée, who had now deserted the princess at a dancing stage to speak with him.

"Hey, babe," she called out. "You remember how you promised me a threesome for my birthday?"

Duo blushed, as Trowa cocked an eyebrow at him. "Yeeeees?"

"Well," she paused, placing a playfully thoughtful finger over her mouth. "I've decided on a third."

"Oh, Hil," he said, gesturing at the tables. "You know what they say about these girls, and stereotype or not, it's not really worth the risk—"

"No," she laughed.

Duo glanced over his shoulder at Heero, who was making his way back.

"Then what are you getting at?"

"I offered Relena."

"WHAT?" He crashed dramatically on the floor as Trowa threw his head back and laughed.

"I want to do it with RELENA!"

"Do what with Relena?" Heero said, entering the discussion.

"What? What! Oh, nothing, Buddy!" Duo was frantic as he scrambled up between them.

"I asked Relena and she said yes," Hilde hollered.

"Yes to what?"

"Nothing!" Duo waved his hands hysterically at Heero before turning back to his girl. "Not Relena."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"But she said yes. During the lap dance."

"And I said no."

"What? But you said—" She stopped short, looking at Heero thoughtfully. "Is this about _him_?"

"No!"

"Heero! Is this about you?"

"What?"

"No! No, it's nothing, Heero. Ignore her. She'd drunk."

Trowa's face was turning colors because of how hard he was laughing.

"Duo said we could sleep with Relena!"

"_We?_" He looked at Duo.

Duo continued waving at the question. "I did _not_!"

Heero's eyes sharpened on Duo.

"Heero," Hilde called out. "Are you dating Relena?"

"No," he answered honestly.

"Then we're clear. I get a threesome. I chose her and she accepted."

"_I_ am _not_ sleeping with _Relena_!" Duo was suddenly stern, but still hard to take seriously.

"Why not?" Relena appeared behind Hilde.

They all looked at her in an awkward silence, Trowa still sniggering as he waited to see what was next.

"Am I not good enough for you, Duo?"

"No—I mean, yes—but no," he stumbled. "You're fine. I just—we're not—I can't."

"And why not?"

"I'm—you're—you're—you're not mine!"

"And who's am I?"

One by one each of Relena's friends looked at Heero, who stood silently by. Looking at their response Relena turned her attention to him.

"Do you agree?"

"You don't belong to anyone," Heero said flatly.

"It's settled, then. I'm going to sleep with Hilde and Duo!"

Heero shot her a sudden warning look.

"Ahah," she answered. "I see the problem, here."

She turned and silently stormed away.

Hilde crossed her arms, glaring at Heero. "Well?"

He sighed and pushed off of the counter, going after Relena.

His pace was fast enough to catch her before she ducked into the ladies room. Grabbing one arm, he spun her and blocked her against the wall.

"You'll regret it," he stated plainly.

"I'll regret it? Or _you'll _regret it?"

He dropped his gaze, allowing his chestnut bangs to cover his Prussion blue eyes, as he thought.

"Fine," he said in a cool tone. "_I'll _regret it, too."

Relena's breath caught. This was the closest she was going to get to a confession, and she knew it.

"Heero—stay with me, tonight?"

"What?"

"Stay with me, tonight."

He looked back up at her, calculating.

"Promise you won't sleep with Duo?"

"Tit for tat," she said, offering her hand to seal the deal.

"I won't sleep with you drunk," he said.

"If I'm not sober enough, you can wait and complete the deal tomorrow. Fair?"

"Fair."

He shook her hand sternly, leading her back to the bar.

Hilde was waiting with an extra fruity glass. "So?"

"You'll need to find a new third," Heero answered in a classic, low tone.


End file.
